June 23, 2017
Sandwich of the Week: Hokey Pokey
In our second episode, we bite into everyone’s favorite meal: breakfast. Breakfast is good for several things: nostalgia, Sunday mornings, hangovers… the list can go on. Today we will be discussing the impromptu sandwich that our very own Lindsay Cherry created one fateful morning: the Hokey Pokey. Oh, and it’s vegetarian by nature, but you can easily make substitutions using more carnivorous ingredients.
Side note: This sandwich is meant to be eaten alone. It’s messy and not flattering for those who are eating it.
- Leftover biscuit
- Runny fried egg
- Cheddar cheese
Step 1: Fix it with a Biscuit
The best kind of biscuits are those that are made at home. Luckily we have someone who seems to enjoy baking enough to make all of our breads from scratch! If you do not have one of these, go ahead and find your own biscuit. Remember: it doesn’t really matter where you get the biscuit since regret is all part of the experience.
Step 2: Kill it in a Skillet
Oil up your favorite pan, heat it up, and get cookin’!
Tofurkey and Cheese
We used Tofurkey for this. Remember: regret is key. You can substitute the Tofurkey for your own favorite meaty material or a different meaty substitute. Fry it up in your skillet. After you flip it, throw some cheddar cheese on it. When the cheese is “oozy,” slap it on your biscuit.
According to Lindsay, the fried egg is required to be runny. Cook it as you wish, but it will be a bastardization of the original beauty of this sammie. Fry up the egg and slop it down right on top of your sandwich pile but don’t break the yolk. You want the yolk to pop when you bite into the sandwich. “Oozy” is key! Throw some black peppa’ on that egg.
Step 3: Finish with Spinach
We used fresh spinach leaves, but you can always saute your spinach if you want. This sandwich is meant to be super quick to make, so we decided that the spirit of the sandwich called for crunchy leaves instead of sauteed. Put a biscuit hat on top and prepare for regret!
Step 4: Photo Op
Take a picture of your beautifully hideous creation and tag us! Put your right hand in and take the sandwich out. This next step is crucial– you must do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself around. This is to hide your shame from any onlookers. After all, that’s what it’s all about!
If you’ve tried this sandwich, we would love to hear about it. Send us your pictures to firstname.lastname@example.org with your stories of regret. Bonus points if you “put your whole self in” the picture eating it alone in a corner.
Andrew X. Hunter